The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

29 Jun

I signed up for my first ever Refine Method class today at 5.  I’m nervous.  I have no idea what it will be like.  I’ve read reviews and blog entries on line and it sounds kind of terrifying.  When I try a new class, I have a lot of anxieties running through my head.  I’m afraid of feeling stupid, I’m afraid of looking stupid, I’m afraid the teacher will think I’m stupid (notice a theme?).  It’s as though all of my insecurities come out when I have to try something new in front of others.  I remember when I started getting into yoga about a year ago.  There was a teacher whose classes I really wanted to take.  I made myself wait about three months until I deemed myself sufficiently “good” to dare to enter the class.  You know what?  I was fine.  And it’s yoga… aren’t you supposed to not care what people think about you?  Yeah, that never worked for me.  Sometimes I laugh at myself when I start thinking like this.  How much of a narcissist must I be to believe that everyone in a yoga class, or a Physique class, or even this Refine class, is taking time from their own workout to watch me, whether I’m completely inept or the most competent student ever to grace the studio’s presence?

The thing is, once it’s over, I usually feel so good, both physically and about myself.  I accomplished it.  Maybe just barely and maybe my face looks beet red and my hair looks like hell, but I showed up, I stuck it out, and I finished.  Usually I sign up for more classes.  I am nothing if not a glutton for punishment.

 

I’ll let you know how today’s class goes once I’m able to move again.

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